Just a disclaimer to begin: I know all sins are equally damning in God's eyes (and thus, in reality). But since I know that I do some things better than other things, though never perfectly, "ranking" sins is a helpful personal tool for me.
Also, another disclaimer: I've made the people in this post anonymous and changed a few details for a reason - I have an ethical question which I would like your input about, and the scenario helps clarify it. The scenario is not the point. =)
A situation arose earlier this year where Justin and I had to make a decision whether or not to do something for a particular person. We knew that this particular person would not be happy either way - he exhibits very few Christian qualities in spite of his multiple decade long profession of faith, and this has made it ridiculously difficult to ever please him, no matter how hard we might try.
In this case, Justin and I had to decide whether or not we would go out of our way to celebrate something which we don't ordinarily make a big deal out of. We talked it over and decided that, in our family (okay, so it's just a two-person family right now, but a family's a family no matter how small!), we won't make a big deal out of this celebration. In fact, in my "previous family" (my mom, dad, and sister, just to be clear), we never made a huge deal out of it, either. So we knew that, when it became our turn to celebrate this holiday, we wouldn't really want to do it. There isn't anything intrinsically wrong with this celebration - we just don't feel the need, if that makes sense.
So we were going to send this person a card, since we care about him and don't want him to feel unloved; at the same time, we weren't going to buy presents for this sort of made-up holiday and we weren't going to make special plans for that day.
[Side note: I have three brothers-in-law, four sisters-in-law, two mothers-in-law, two fathers-in-law, three grandmothers-in-law, one grandfather-in-law, and at least three various aunts and uncles-in-law, and that doesn't count my side, in which I have four aunts, four uncles, two grandmothers, one grandfather, and my mom, dad, and sister. If I celebrate every single holiday and birthday for every single one of those people, I would never do anything else - and that doesn't even include friends!]
After we had made our decision about how to acknowledge this holiday, we were essentially commanded to make a big deal out of this person. It would mean a lot to him; thus, we are supposed to go out of our way to see him, which includes a lot of time spent and rearranging our entire schedule for the day. This person demands acknowledgment and obedience in this matter, and so we should oblige.
What is a person to do?
My initial instinct is to say, "Well, sorry, we don't celebrate things like that, and you absolutely have no right to tell me what to do. Have a nice day."
... Of course, I didn't say that. Thankfully, I don't say everything that comes through my head!
I then thought, "Hmm, maybe we could have this person and his family over for lunch tomorrow - that could be fun, and it wouldn't be specific to that person. But I also don't want him to think I'm doing anything because he told me to or because I'm intimidated by him, because I'm not." (I'm really not. I know that sounds like I'm in denial, but honestly, I'm not. o_o)
And here's the ethical question: Is it better to make someone else stumble if you can save yourself from stumbling? In other words, should we give in and do what this person wants because otherwise the person will be angry at us, and thus sinning? Or is it better to save ourselves the temptation for anger and bitterness and go with our original plan?
It's my opinion (though of course I'm not the Holy Spirit, so I don't know for a fact) that this person would be sinning in either way. In fact, I'm pretty sure that ordering Justin and I to do anything is a sin at this point, since this person has no biblical or legal position over us. [I'm not an anarchist... I'm just following the biblical model of who holds power!] Also, even if we rearranged our day to make room to go visit this person, he wouldn't be satisfied. We tend to get bashed around a lot whenever we see this guy - thankfully, Justin and I both have pretty thick skins, but clearly we'd rather not be around him.
What do you think? Did we make the right decision to stick with our original plan? Should we have gone with the lunch idea? We have already decided; I'm just interested in what you all have to say.
Comment away!
No comments:
Post a Comment